5 Tips: Improve your Conversation Skills
1. Read a lot
Not only does it improve your vocabulary, but it makes you more interesting.
2. Spokes Method
I’m a fan of this technique. Ok, think of a bicycle wheel. You have the hub, then the spokes. You are on a first date; he mentions he’s a huge football fan and starts talking about the Patriots and the great loss a few years ago of Tom Brady. You know absolutely zero about football, TB and you’re not from Boston. He’s in the hub---you jump to the spoke. “Oh, I grew up in Toronto where hockey was the sport. Ever been to a hockey game”? You easily steered the conversation away from just football, without acknowledging that you know nothing about football. This strategy works for many topics!
3. Interrupt politely
Last week, my client Amelia was on a first date with a pilot----who went on and on for 20 minutes about flying. She jumped in during a tiny pause in the conversation and said “Wow, I feel like I know so much about you. What would you like to know about me?” It worked---and probably saved the date!
4. Listen actively
Nope, you’re not thinking about what you are going to say next because you are present.
5. Read into sentences
Kayla comments over a beer on a first date, “Oh, I pray it doesn’t rain tomorrow as I have a pickleball match then a pool party”. She just told you a few things about herself: a.) she plays pickleball, b.) using the word “pray” signifies perhaps she has a belief in God or religion and c.) that she is social.
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